Ah, the Glaswegian dialect is a mysterious thing. But it’s not until you listen to the wonderful words that come out your wee Granny’s mouth that make you wonder if Glaswegians actually speak English at all.

“If the wind changes yer face will stay like that!”

Meaning: stop making a funny face or when the wind changes it will stay like that forever. Not sure if this is actually ever happened, but it’s not a good idea to argue with your Gran.

IMAGE: Focus On The Family

“Eat yer crusts an ye’ll get nice curls”

Meaning: If you eat your crusts your hair will miraculously be curly. Again, never been proven but what Granny says goes.

“Och, away an’ bile yer heid”

Meaning: Don’t be ridiculous.

“Whits fur ye will no go by ye”

Meaning: If something is meant to be, it won’t pass you by.

“Och yer face in a tinny” / “don’t talk mince”

IMAGE: Watching What

Meaning: Stop talking nonsense

“Ye make a better door than a windae!” or “Wis yer da glaizer?” or “Yer a pane but a canny see through ye”

Meaning: Move out the way of the telly, you’re not see-through like a panel of glass.

“You’ll catch yer death!”

Meaning: Usually said when someone isn’t wearing a coat, you’ll freeze to death. A tad dramatic, but again, never argue.

“You’re a long time deid”

Meaning: You’re still young, enjoy life while you can.

“You’re gonnae get a skelp for yer cheek!”

Meaning: Basically you’re Granny is threatening to hit you for being cheeky, so…run!

“It’s like Blackpool illuminations in here!”

Meaning: There are so many lights on, it resembles Blackpool.

IMAGE: Visit Lancashire

“Call a spade, a spade…”

Meaning: Don’t’ hang back, just get straight to the point!

“A wee drap a vodi ‘n a wee toot a coke”

Meaning: “Can I have small vodka with a dash of cola”


“You’ve blootered the lot, not a bean wis left”

Meaning:  “You seem to have over spent and there is no money left now”


Have we missed any? Get involved in the conversation on Facebook!

Check this video out of one of THE best Glasgow Grannys! RIP Annie, ya legend x